Feed Me!

Once upon a time I used to watch lots of television. I used to schedule certain nights of the week as TV night; I’d sit in front of the television and absorb the latest sci-fi series or shark-infested documentary until my eyes bled, I’d channel-surf the hundreds of channels that cable television had to offer stopping only at stations which offered the brightest pleb-dazzling experience. Even my choice of abode was dictated by whether ntl: could run a cable up the driveway for digital television.

Nigel Skull: Couch Potato.

So it seems strange then that for the six months I’ve been living at Aspen Close, I’ve never had satellite or cable television installed, even though there is a Sky dish waitning patiently for usage on the wall outside. My busy social calendar, the threat of imminent eviction and the cost of a subscription were reasons enough to dissuade me from committing to a twelve-month contract with a digital TV provider.

As the five terrestrial channels only provided limited enjoyment, I looked elsewhere for my entertainment. I found new sources of stimuli; video games, books, cinema, the theatre, even socialising with people of the opposite sex. It was just like the episode of The Simpsons when Itchy and Scratchy was pulled from The Krusty The Clown Show, I’d discovered a life away from the cathode-ray tube, albeit one without hop-scotch and kite-flying. Which is why I feel the purchase I made at today’s car boot sale was a grave mistake; I bought a second-hand Sky digibox.

Look at the quality TV I was missing

My plan is to spend twenty pounds on a Freesat card, a Sky viewing card that enables your digibox to receive the Freeview channels. I’m hoping this will provide enough televisual entertainment without the potato-inducing risk of having full satellite television.

TV sucks, but I do miss it. A bit.